My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
