Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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