did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
