I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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