I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
