For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
