Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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