Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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