I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
