Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
