My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
