Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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