Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
