I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
