Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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