dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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