ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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