remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
