Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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