the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
