I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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