A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
