if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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