i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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