This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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