I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
