idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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