So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize