What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
