We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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