how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize