FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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