I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
