I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
