I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize