Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
