So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
