At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
