Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
