Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize