Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
