Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
