Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
