I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They have beer where we have blood.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
