dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
In America we eat man semen.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
