she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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