i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
