also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
