Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize