i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
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