I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
