just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
