i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
