just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
