a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
