Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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