The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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