im holly from the hills drunk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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