should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
