I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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