oh god the rape fog is back!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You ruined the universe
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
