also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize