he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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